It’s
7.30am. You wake up to the tunes of your mother, who happens to be in foul mood
over power failure from early morning. Ignoring everything happening around -- father
dusting your bike, an irate mother trying to use the coconut part which she had
powdered for a chutney into some other dish, younger brother submerged in a
multi chat in FB -- you pick up the
newspaper and pluck the last page alone and put the rest in a mess.
As you gaze
at the booming forehand of Maria Sharapova, you suddenly start searching for your
mobile. It’s under the pillow and the alarm bells are ringing. The moment you
see CLIENT MEETING @ 9:30! OMG! Time is already five to eight.
The madness
begins! You switch on the heater only to hear your mother shouting: “Idiot! No
power. How will it work.” Taking bath in
normal tap water on a December morning that too minutes after waking up - it’s
a nightmare. And the clock is ticking.
What do you
do? You bank on your new deodorant to save the day. You open the cupboard only to
agitated further. Start arguing with your brother for tampering with the superstar
LINGAA poster. Your father this time reminds
you that the clock is ticking faster than ever before.
Ahh!! You admire
your pristine shirt (cream mixed with lavender). You come out of the room all
in readiness to head to office and set to impress your client, who you believe
is a Belgian lass.
You skip
your breakfast to make your mother further sad.
Royal look alike
bike. You are in a tremendous outfit. Your brother himself takes a minute away
from his serious chat to say that you look amazing in that dress.
You sit on
the bike and press the self start button. The engine seems to be suffering from
cold. Panic sets in. You are pissed off. You beat the hell out of the kick
starter. Your dad comes out and first attempt the bike is up and running. You
now remember the saying the old story one old man dug, dug, dug and tired and
left……………
On to the
road and you are well on time to meet your boss. You are near the office premises.
And here
comes the climax. You cross an autowallah on the left (which shouldn’t be the
case).
Dhub!Dhub!Dhub!
8 buffaloes run amuck in a main road.
You are caught
off guard. You miss the first three. Your bike takes a beating from the fourth and
fifth and still you are safe. You think “God! Just three more. Pls ensure I don’t
get beaten by the ditch-coated tail of a buffalo”
And you figure
out there is only one buffalo in front of you. The dilemma is whether to overtake
the yemma vaaganam to the right or the
left. You go by the policy ‘keep left.’ And the often described uncouth animal greets
you with its tail! You are now a laughing
stock.
And you
feel no wonder it’s being called: BuffHELLoaaa – And the meeting – B*** S***
BAGGS BLABBERS,
S. BAGAWATI PRASAD
