Buff-HELL-OH!

It’s 7.30am. You wake up to the tunes of your mother, who happens to be in foul mood over power failure from early morning. Ignoring everything happening around -- father dusting your bike, an irate mother trying to use the coconut part which she had powdered for a chutney into some other dish, younger brother submerged in a multi chat in FB --  you pick up the newspaper and pluck the last page alone and put the rest in a mess.

As you gaze at the booming forehand of Maria Sharapova, you suddenly start searching for your mobile. It’s under the pillow and the alarm bells are ringing. The moment you see CLIENT MEETING @ 9:30! OMG! Time is already five to eight.

The madness begins! You switch on the heater only to hear your mother shouting: “Idiot! No power. How will it work.”  Taking bath in normal tap water on a December morning that too minutes after waking up - it’s a nightmare. And the clock is ticking.

What do you do? You bank on your new deodorant to save the day. You open the cupboard only to agitated further. Start arguing with your brother for tampering with the superstar LINGAA poster. Your father this time reminds you that the clock is ticking faster than ever before.

Ahh!! You admire your pristine shirt (cream mixed with lavender). You come out of the room all in readiness to head to office and set to impress your client, who you believe is a Belgian lass.

You skip your breakfast to make your mother further sad.

Royal look alike bike. You are in a tremendous outfit. Your brother himself takes a minute away from his serious chat to say that you look amazing in that dress.

You sit on the bike and press the self start button. The engine seems to be suffering from cold. Panic sets in. You are pissed off. You beat the hell out of the kick starter. Your dad comes out and first attempt the bike is up and running. You now remember the saying the old story one old man dug, dug, dug and tired and left……………

On to the road and you are well on time to meet your boss.  You are near the office premises.

And here comes the climax. You cross an autowallah on the left (which shouldn’t be the case).

Dhub!Dhub!Dhub! 8 buffaloes run amuck in a main road.

You are caught off guard. You miss the first three. Your bike takes a beating from the fourth and fifth and still you are safe. You think “God! Just three more. Pls ensure I don’t get beaten by the ditch-coated tail of a buffalo”

And you figure out there is only one buffalo in front of you. The dilemma is whether to overtake the yemma vaaganam to the right or the left. You go by the policy ‘keep left.’ And the often described uncouth animal greets you with its tail!  You are now a laughing stock.

And you feel no wonder it’s being called: BuffHELLoaaa – And the meeting – B*** S***

                                                                                                 BAGGS BLABBERS,

                                                                                                S. BAGAWATI PRASAD

               

THE LAST SMILEY :)

A chat needn’t just be between two united hearts. It could even be between childhood friends, colleagues, people at the blossoming point of their roman

ce, broken hearts searching a dictionary to find words after break up.  The medium could be a Facebook chat box via the PCs of 2000s, the latest tabs, a facebook messenger or a Watsapp chat installed in a smart phone.

  Raged, wondering what the hell is all this about? The time could well……Again could?? Enough of this cr**!  “So..then…whatsup…hmm….had….did…hey…really…ohhh….” These clichés form an integral part of any chat irrespective of age, gender and situation.

  Excuse me! The place could (now you understand the reason for the excuse) be a conference room of an office, bedroom, pavement, subway, compartment of a train, a bumpy ride on a city bus.

  Woo!Oh!...Please don’t shut on my words! For you should realise it’s predominantly a blabber and not a blog.

  Request you to hold on for another 150 odd words.

  Let’s assume the conversation takes place via Watsapp chat in a beautiful smart phone from either side and the time midnight - so that one can’t remember the next day on what’s being said the earlier night!

  With the charge in the mobile dwindling gradually, the chat eventually begins with a few of the traditional clichés listed earlier.

  As minutes pass by, eyes start eagerly looking at ‘typing…… the new cop in watsapp– blue tick marks…’  You start typing….and the drowsy eyes catch the recipient “typing”….And now you stop only to see the status at the other end ONLINE.

  SSh!!! Everything has come to a standstill. What next? You decide to lead the conversation and the same thought process happens at the other side of the table. “Hey ..today”….And the chat continues……

  Yes. It’s boring like the dragging songs of the 1960s Tamil movies.  

  

Now the story starts…OMG! Don’t worry it’s short and hope those who read find it sweet.

  So…. You send: “Feel tired..Will text you tmrw!” Good night…

And the response: “Sure..Good night!”

You send: J

  If the person at the other end is your friend /dad/mother/sister/boy/girl/neighbourhood uncle/opposite house aunt/ no matter whomsoever be it would least bother to reply. For they are already fed up having had a chat with you losing their precious sleep.

  But if the recipient happens to be your lover or seeking a love quotient with you or your best friend one can be rest assured of a RETURN SMILEY! J

And you sense an opportunity : And start all over again.. “Hey not yet asleep!”

THE LAST SMILEY – often determines your relationship or the progress of it. A slight misunderstanding would mean a LOST SMILEY!

                                                                                                     BAGGS BLABBERS,

                                                                                                    S. Bagawati Prasad.